I Feel Like Praying
by Unclear Destiny
Summary: inspired by ofdustandpotions on tumblr. Chris finds out about Josh's prank a bit too early and runs off in a spectacular repeat of the year before. It's gonna be a long night. tw for self harm and suicideality references
1. Chapter 1

How. Howhowhow, no way there was no way that he'd forgotten it. But he couldn't find it, the damn thing was nowhere to be found no matter how many times he shoved his underwear to the side or went through the numerous pockets of his backpack or jacket.

"What's up?"

Chris looked up from where he crouched rummaging through his bag, finding Sam looking down at him with an amused grin. He huffed sharply, frankly unable to believe himself in the least that he would forget his phone's charger cord of all things.

"I-I forgot my charger." Chris pouted and above him Sam cackled. He shot her a quick glower. "It's not funny! My phone is almost dead, what'll I do without it?!"

"Oh poor baby," The blonde giggled, reaching down to ruffle his hair. He swatted at her hand indignantly, standing quickly. "Is Chrissywissy gonna have to talk to the scurry people while he's here? Oh no, oh the humanity!"

"Oh shut up." He huffed, quickly primped his fauxhawk back to rights and looked around. "I can socialize just fine. Josh, hey Josh!"

The brunet looked over as he quickly crossed the livingroom, eyebrows quirking as he turned away from Mike.

Chris knew his friend's phones like the back of his hand, he'd practically helped the majority of them buy them after all. He knew that Mike, Emily, Matt and Jessica would have a charger he could use, the lot of them as well as Josh firmly in the camp of the Apple but he was also fully aware that Emily and Jessica wouldn't let him use theirs if it meant saving their lives and Emily wouldn't be overly keen on letting Matt loan his out either. Mike would tease him about it for the rest of the night, he wasn't an option but Josh would understand fully and wouldn't hesitate in the least.

"Dude, this is life or death." Chris explained quickly, trying to ignore Mike who was listening in keenly. "I don't know how or what I was thinking but I forgot my charger. Can I borrow yours?"

"Hah!" Mike crowed, clapped his hands together and Chris was already regretting asking Josh in front of him. "You? You forgot your charger? Oh man that's gold, hey Jess!"

Glaring after the taller man as he turned to find the blond, Chris huffed at his back before turning the puppiest of puppy eyes he could muster onto Josh.

"Please, bro."

Josh looked way too amused to be healthy, thought Chris. A good snowball to the face would clear that up pretty quick.

The notion passed as the brunet gave his head a shake and gestured up the stairs with one hand, clapping his shoulder with the other.

"Yeah dude, no problem. It's in my room with my phone, you wanna grab that for me while you're up there?"

"Yes!" Chris beamed, relief sinking into his chest in a rush. "Sure thing, I'll be right back!"

He sidestepped the brunet quickly, ignoring the call of "Don't kill yourself on the stairs Cochise!" and took the steps swiftly, two by two at a run before slowing down as his shoes met the hardwood of the upper level.

"How the hell could I forget my charger of all things..." He muttered to himself with a bemused twist of his lips as he quickly navigated the halls, the dark not doing much to slow him down.

He'd been coming to this place for years, knew it like a third home, had his own room even. Unfortunately it was completely bereft of any helpful tech because the thought of leaving any of his precious babies alone for a year, even just a cord, was almost too much to bear. Breathing out a quiet huff he slipped into his friend's room and hit the light, frowned at the dark as he remembered they still needed to flip the breaker. Still, a quick glance around located the aforementioned cellphone on the desk, sitting pretty next to the cord he needed.

"Oh thank goodness." Chris breathed, walked hurriedly forward.

He shoved the cord into his pocket, picked up the phone and blinked as it gave a buzz in his hand, lighting up with a message notification. Quirking a brow Chris glanced slowly over his shoulder, debating with himself. Josh certainly deserved his privacy but...a little fiddling in his ringtones couldn't hurt. He grinned widely, a mischievous thrill quickening his heart rate as he swiped the lockscreen open.

It was open on a series of text messages. He glanced automatically at the contact listing, paused, turned his gaze to the line of blue boxes trailing down the screen and skimmed quickly.

"Worried..." Thoughts of embarrassing ringtones slipping to the back of his mind, Chris furrowed his brows at the screen. "Why would he..."

Josh was doing fine. Or, he said he was, said he was doing fine for months now. There'd been a period of time where it had been touch and go, after Hannah and Beth had gone missing, but he'd seemed to recover at the same pace as his parents, grief slowly turning less sharp. Chris honestly hadn't been sure if he should believe the brunet but figured that if Josh really truly needed him then he'd know where to find him.

These text messages didn't seem to line up with that line of thought at all.

Heart sinking deep into the pit of his stomach Chris read them quickly. Plan, missed meds, none of it sounded good and the man was very obviously concerned, and concerned for a reason.

God, what if Josh was planning on-

His breath trembled at the thought and he looked around quickly before beginning to rummage through drawers. His friend's mental health issues weren't new and Chris was very familiar with Josh's habits when the pain got too much for him. Knives, anything sharp even, lighters, pins, they all needed to be found. He would find them, he'd hide them and then talk to Josh in private later. Cornering him in front of everyone else would only stress him out more and that was the last thing he needed.

'How could I have missed this?' He grimaced, guilt pressing at his chest.

For a guy who touted himself as 'best bro status' he sure hadn't done a good job of it. His mind flashed over memories, pulling every bit of Josh's behaviour to the forefront as he searched. He had seemed alright. Maybe not the best that he could ever potentially be but he'd seemed as though he was coping and Chris had thought that his new medication was really helping, that the sessions with Dr. Hill had been working out, that it'd been going okay.

He should have pressed harder. No, he would press harder, the moment he got Josh to himself.

He got to the last drawer, tugged it open with single-minded determination to find a journal looking thing, stuffed full with papers. He scooped it up, flipped through the pages just in case something was hiding within, but stopped when he came to a diagram of a headless body strung up by its hands.

"What the fuck..." Chris mumbled as he took in the quick pencil strokes indicative of Josh's style.

There was writing, jotted down in his friend's messy hand, a picture of a massive sawblade, a bunch of measurements, mechanical bullshit that seemed to indicate the hung body would be cut in half.

"Saw is rigged to cut only me, I've tested it to be sure. The pig carcass...ripped open like butter, what? Chris will choose Ash-wait, what!?" He hissed under his breath, read again to be sure.

For a moment Chris just sat and stared before shifting carefully to sit on the floor and flipping to the start of the book, his heart thudding in his ears.

It was a diary of sorts but mostly it seemed to be an outline, various plans sketched out within before Josh had felt he'd hit upon the jackpot. It was demented, it was cruel and Chris felt his breath turn heavy and his face go hot as he continued to read as fast as he was able, taking in the details again and again.

It was centered on him. Josh's revenge was focused dead centre on him. Mike and Jessica got rattling doors, a shrieking recording and a ghost projection that was supposed to make them run back to the lodge half naked and screaming. Traps and jump scares were littered over the trails for Emily and Matt, Mike and Jessica to run into and Chris felt pure indignation on Sam's behalf but it was numb under the shock and hurt.

Him. Knocked out twice, dragged and tied down, forced to make a decision straight out of Saw twice over, left to think that he'd killed his best friend because Josh was certain that Chris would pick him to die and that he'd shoot himself after to save Ashley, left fully in the thought that he would be killing himself in so doing.

This was straight up psychological warfare, designed to hurt and traumatize.

Picking himself slowly off the ground, the book feeling heavy in his hands he grabbed Josh's phone from the desk and turned toward the door. His feet felt like lead under his own weight and he checked the time on the phone in his hand. Only a few minutes, really? It had felt longer.

Revenge for the disappearance and probable deaths of Hannah and Beth after a prank that he'd had no part in. Did Josh think he had? Did Josh believe he could actually be so cruel as to hurt Hannah like that? Maybe he wasn't as close to her as he had been to Josh but he'd still practically grown up with her, her and Beth and Josh.

Or was it because he'd fucked up in some other way? Trying to rationalize his friend's intent, Chris paused at the edge of the hall and leant against the wall.

That...would make more sense, he thought as he went over what he knew of Josh's present situation. Obviously the Washington heir wasn't in nearly as good a place as Chris had thought he'd been and he'd been blind to it. Utterly blind.

He'd let his best friend down, hadn't been there when Josh had needed him most. The pain of the realization was almost enough to flatten him.

Chris braced his forehead against his palm and sucked in air, slowly and carefully. He'd been a shit friend, the shittiest alive most likely and had left Josh adrift in his pain, pain potent enough to make him seek vengeance in the cruelest way he could think of short of actual murder.

His eyes were stinging, face hot with shame and guilt. Sniffing back his tears Chris stood still for a long moment, doing his best to compose himself.

Eventually he pushed off the wall, the tread of his boots painfully loud in his ears against the floor. Pressing Josh's phone into his pocket and gripping the rail instead he slipped down the stairs and wondered why he hurt so bad.

Betrayal, maybe. Kind of a silly thought, given it was Josh who must have felt betrayed in the first place. Did that make him a hypocrite?

Probably.

The familiar sounds of squabbling met his ears and he quirked his brows as he steadily approached. Poor Matt, Emily was already jumping down Jessica's throat and he was being forced to mediate. He stopped next to Ashley, the last stair solid beneath his feet as he watched.

He felt her gaze hit him, followed by a sharp breath.

"Chris, what happened? You look upset?"

But before he could respond Josh butted into the argument, his call to stop ending Jessica and Emily's catfight instantly. Heart thudding in his ears, Chris listened, gave his head a shake.

"Mike, Jess, don't go anywhere." Stepping forward he held out a hand to stall them. "Josh's, uh, he's got the thing rigged."

"What?" Mike looked over at him with a skeptical grin.

Waving the book in his left hand, Chris eyeballed the ground hard. "He's got us all up here to mess with our heads. Revenge for Hannah and Beth."

"What the fuck Chris?!"

He winced, kept his eyes on the ground as Josh stormed over and ripped the book from his hand. He clasped empty air for a second, clenched his fist hard.

"I said you could grab my fucking charger, not go through my shit! The hell're you doing?!"

A soft 'ooohh' in the background and he felt his face flush hotter, heart pounding furiously in his chest before looking up and locking eyes with his friend.

Though whether or not Josh even wanted to be his friend anymore he wasn't sure.

"I saw your phone. Dr. Hill seems to think you've stopped taking your meds."

"You looked at my texts?" Josh hissed furiously, leaning in close.

"I know what you're like when you're off your meds, Josh!"

He couldn't handle this. Gritting his teeth he shook his head hard, scrubbed a hand along his face. "I needed to make sure you didn't have anything you could hurt yourself with and then I find that! What the fuck Josh, if you needed my help why didn't you say something?"

"What?" Josh blinked, his face going slack.

Chris tore his glasses from his face, swiping a sleeve across his eyes quickly, the humiliation of breaking down in front of everyone adding to the cocktail of grief in his head.

"Fucking-your plans, Josh! Knocking me out, kidnapping Ashley, making me think that I killed you?!"

His voice was getting shrill. Taking a step back and carding a set of fingers through his hair he turned on his heel, spread his hands wide. "Knocking me out again, tying me down, m-making me think me and Ash were gonna die, fucking guns, what-Josh, goddamnit, I-"

He'd run out of words. Turning away again he took a couple more steps, needing to be out of the brunet's space as far as possible, stopped to clasp his hands over his face.

They were cold.

"Chris." Sam was next to him but he couldn't look at her, needed to focus on his breathing and collect at least some semblance of thought. "Chris, what's going on?"

He ignored her, kept on breathing deep and trying to push back the misery curling into his system enough so he could actually say something. Slowly his shoulders slumped, defeat and resignation settling in deep.

"I'm sorry." He finally muttered as the words came to him, dropping his hands from his face. "I'm sorry I wasn't there, that I was such a shitty friend. I..."

"Chris." Sam's voice was insistence itself, demanding attention and he finally looked down at her, hoping his face didn't look too ugly in his grief.

He couldn't stand to hold her gaze though, dropped it instantly. And he could feel them, the eyes of everyone else hard on his back, making him itch and chafe under the weight of the attention.

"Chris, talk t-"

"I need to go."

He felt a hand settle tight on his arm and he jerked out of the grip, lifted his hands in a plea for space. "I need to go, I-I need to sort out my head. I can't do this right now, I can't, I'm sorry, I just-leave me alone, please."

"Chris, wait!" Ashley's voice was behind his back but he ignored it, walking quickly.

The doorknob was still warm as he gripped it tightly, yanked it open and stepped into the bite of the cold mountain air, jerked it closed just as Mike began to exclaim, Matt's tones joining in just as swift.

Snow crunched under his boots, steps hurried down the stairs and onto the trail. Agitation, pain made his pace quick and he was barely watching where he was going, not a thought toward a destination entering his head.

Instead his thoughts were a furious tailspin of guilt and betrayal mixing into contradictions that just served to elevate the pain tearing at his chest. He tolerated it mindlessly, walking faster and faster until he was running, until he snapped with a strangled yell.

His knuckles met the cold bark of a tree, the physical hurt of his skin tearing open jerking him back to reality. Panting hard Chris stared then drew back, examining the gouges as they quickly grew red. His glasses were still clutched in his other hand and he slipped them on shakily, turned his back and slid down to the ground.

It was as good a place as any to mope, he figured and curled up into himself, arms curling around his knees. A little cold and he'd have to deal with the embarrassment of a wet ass when he got back to the lodge but still, better than being around other people for now.

Just until he got control of himself back he thought, scrubbed at a wet cheek. Fifteen minutes to a half an hour and then he'd wander back, ashamed and chilled, and face the music he'd stormed out of.

'Like a baby.' He thought to himself with a snort and sighed, dropped his head into the cocoon of his arms.

A branch snapped.

His ears twitched, head lifting in an instant to glance around. Silence, but that had surely been something nearby and he shifted, peered passed the trunk of the tree he leaned against and out into the snow.

"...Sam?" He called, eyes turning about. "Ashley, is that...Hello?"

Nothing.

So now he was talking to himself. Great. Groaning he sat back, eyes turning to the front.

He only had a second to catch a glimpse of massive teeth and bulbous eyes, a hand with claws and he dropped with a scream, felt the impact tear into the trunk at his back and split it straight through.

Everything slowed down, milliseconds turning to hours as he lifted his head, gazing through the plume of breath at the thing above him. The creak of the tree as it began to teeter and fall played the background to the surreality and from the corner of his eye he could see muscles pulled gaunt against bone bunch, the hand that had barely missed him coming back for a second shot.

He ducked to the side, scrambled at the ground with his feet and his hands to pull himself back but it was on him in an instant with a shriek that sounded like an explosion.

He hit the ground, head spinning wildly and a cacophony of pain in his skull. There was snow in his face and seconds of time had been lost in a disorienting rush. Breath left him by inches as he tried to grab at the snow with nerveless fingers and push himself up but a hand was jerking him back and for a moment in time he was weightless before-

Impact.

Thereon he didn't know if he'd lost minutes or hours, blackness interspersed by a stream of nonsensical visuals mixed with hurt, the world speeding by and a grip around his arm dragging him across the ground.

There was no care. Rocks, branches, they jerked him between the middle ground of sense and nothing and every time he found his sight it was followed by new hurts, the injuries mounting. Terror had left him mindless when he was even aware and finally he drew up enough strength to make a grab for the hand around his forearm, a plea on his tongue.

A megaton of force exploded into his face and Chris felt himself fall away, back into the blackness.

The door slammed shut and Sam watched as Chris's silhouette disappeared into the snow.

The last time he'd been that upset was after Hannah and Beth, she thought and did her best to avoid drawing parallels in her mind. After a moment she turned, locked eyes with Ashley who looked stunned.

"No, you don't-it was just a dumb prank! I was gonna post it to youtube, get us all famous, it was gonna be hilarious I don't-"

"Your definition of hilarious needs work if any of what he said is true." Matt pointed out with a sharp jab of his finger. "Seriously Josh? You don't think that's crossing the line maybe a little bit too far?"

"I don't think he knows what the hell he's doing." Mike uttered in a low tone as he snapped the journal out of Josh's grip, flipping through.

"You seriously went off your meds, Josh?" Sam asked as she stepped forward, wrapping her arms about herself. "Why would you do that?"

Josh looked at her with a hunted look in his eyes and she gritted her teeth in the face of it, recognizing the expression to mean the brunet was nearing a breaking point.

He seemed to struggle for a minute, gave his head a shake. "They don't-they don't make me feel like myself Sam, they make me feel wrong, feel flat and-and just not right. I can't do it anymore, I can't keep on taking them when they make me feel like that."

"Have you even bothered telling that to Dr. Hill? Josh," Sam sighed hard, head shaking with disbelief. "you've been on anti-depressants enough to know how dangerous that can be!"

"I've done it just fine before!"

"Hey I don't mean to break up your little party but you realize we're having a wonderful repeat of last year right?" Emily cut in and Sam glanced over at her.

The woman cocked her hip, a familiar expression of derision on her face as she waved a hand toward the door.

"Dramaqueen runs into snowstorm after a prank...potentially doesn't come back, are-how are you not picking up on this? I mean, not that I care or anything," She folded her arms over her chest, eyebrows lifting. "but if people keep disappearing on our annual vacations, we're going to become suspects and I can't get to where I'm going with a criminal record."

"Real nice, Em." Matt muttered under his breath, barely audible as he rubbed at his eyes.

"Much as I hate to admit it, she's got a point." Jessica eyed the door, concern blatant on her pretty face. "Shouldn't we go after him? I mean, we still don't know what happened to Hannah and Beth, what if-what if whatever happens to them happens to him?"

"Chris isn't exactly a hundred and four pound girl though, Jess. He can take care of himself."

"But he's not a karate champion either, Mike." Sam shook her head at the thought. Chris could barely hurt a marshmallow. "And if he's distressed he's probably not thinking clearly either. He could end up seriously hurt."

A low whine caught her attention and Sam blinked, glanced to her right where Josh stood glaring at the floor with misted eyes that looked ready to spill tears. She glanced down, caught sight of his thumbnail pressing deep into the skin of his wrist and caught his hands up swiftly, pulling him over to the couch.

"Hey, hey," She murmured lowly even as she put away the thought of 'damnit Josh we don't have time for this'. "What's wrong, Josh? Come on, talk to me."

Sitting them down and keeping her grip on his hands she scooted in close as the brunet gave his head a shake, beginning to rock back and forth. Across the room Emily sighed.

"He's probably just realized that he's no better than us, that's all. Why are we just standing here, shouldn't we be going to find Chris?"

Mike breathed a hard sigh, pinched the bridge of his nose before reaching into his pocket and withdrawing his cellphone. No service but it still made a fine watch.

"We'll give him twenty minutes and then we'll go look for him."

"But by then it could be too late!"

"Ash, what he needs right now is time to cool down. If we went out looking for him right now he'd just get pissed off at us."

"But at least then we'd know he's still alive!? I don't see the problem!"

"Ten minutes then." Matt split in with a hand down the middle, glancing between them. "Compromise. We get Josh calmed down, give Chris some time to chill out and then we go find him. He'll understand our concern."

"Whatever." Emily dropped into a chair with a mutter, beginning an examination of her nails. "But I'm not going down for this."

Sam took in the entire exchange with half an ear, the rest of her attention focused solely on the man in front of her as she spoke to him in low tones.

"Josh, come on please talk to me. I can't help you if you don't talk to me, please."

"I killed him," Sam felt her heart drop in her chest at the muttered words. "he misunderstood and I killed him, I-I gotta-I gotta find him, I gotta get him-!"

"Josh." Stern now, that was good, that worked.

She had no idea why Josh had been coming to her instead of Chris and not the both of them like she'd assumed (or she was pretty sure that was the case by Chris's reaction, damn that nerd and his guilt complex) but at least it had given her plenty of experience to work with.

"Look at me." She dropped his hands in favour of tilting up his face, locking eyes to his. "Josh, that's illogical thinking. You don't know that, I promise you can't tell the future."

She quirked her mouth into a faint smile.

"Okay?"

His tongue flicked out, moved across the line of his bottom lip but he nodded, gaze attentive and blessedly present.

"Okay." He murmured back, taking her words in. "Okay."

"Good. Now Josh, do you have your meds here with you? Can you take them?"

"Uh..." His eyes flicked to the side and gradually he nodded. "Y-yeah I think I do. They're in my room but...it's gonna be a few days again before they've really kicked in..."

"Okay, good. Better than nothing." Keeping her voice low, soft and steady Sam released his face, let her hands fall to her lap. "Go take them."

"Right." Josh shifted, pushed himself from the couch slowly and made his way over to the stairs.

Sam watched him go, the atmosphere tense and claustrophobic. Gradually she shifted, dropped her head as she leaned back into the couch with a long, hard sigh.

"I can't believe this." She muttered beneath her breath, reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose. "I can't believe this. Always something... Mike, what else was Josh planning on doing?"

The brunet grimaced faintly, handed the book to her before tugging Jessica into a solid embrace. Tipping back into the couch the pair curled into each other, Jessica's arms slipping around his shoulders and his arms firm about her waist.

"Well, the brunt of it seems focused on you and Chris." He explained as she started to flip through the journal. "I guess you were supposed to be wandering around in nothing but a towel, tied up, harassed. What was going through his head-it's freaky shit, Sam."

"I didn't realize he was that sick." Jessica mumbled, her tone soft and sad and scared.

Sick didn't seem to cover half of it, Sam thought as she read through the hastily scrawled penmanship. Half mad was more appropriate and she felt her heart give a pang in her chest.

Josh seemed to think he was hilarious.

He hadn't realized at all how far he'd slipped, how deep he'd dropped and she shut her eyes tight against the thought of what may have happened if Chris hadn't found this book, if Josh had been allowed to go all the way.

What would have happened if they hadn't been around to catch him?

The entire thing, the 'prank' that was frankly more akin to torture, the absence of Chris, Josh's mental state, it was enough to make her stomach curdle and turn nauseously.

"After we find Chris I don't think we should stay up here." Sam said finally as she opened her eyes, keeping a keen ear out for Josh as she glanced over at the pair next to her. "I think we should get back to Grande Cache, see if we can get him into the hospital. Call his parents, contact Dr. Hill. This entire thing...he needs help and he won't get that here."

Mike nodded once then turned his eyes to the stairs. Sam followed his gaze, easily spotting Josh as he trotted down, head lowered and eyes firm on the ground.

"Great!" Emily found her feet again, arms swinging until her hands found her hips. "All here. Shall we be off then? Finally?"

"Yes please." Ashley growled underneath her breath as Josh passed her, walked quickly ahead to shove him with her shoulder as she made for the door.

Josh stared after the redhead for a moment before swinging a backpack around on his shoulders until it rested on his hip.

"I grabbed a couple of flashlights too." He said as he approached and Sam smiled widely, glad to see that he had at least some logic in his head left.

"Good thinking."

He didn't return her grin. In fact he seemed to wince and Sam let her smile drop to the pit of her stomach, lowered her eyes as he pulled out a flashlight and handed it to her.

"Thanks."

The cold wasn't welcoming and she shivered against it the second they stepped outside. She'd felt it, she was sure, something past the trepidation of coming back that had been forbidding. It seemed to have increased threefold now, pressing in on her and weighing her down.

"Chris!" Ashley paused to wait for a response before giving her head a shake and looking to the ground. "Here, tracks. If we hurry we might be able to find him before the snow buries them."

"Good to know one of us is thinking." Emily muttered with a roll of her eyes, forged ahead at a brisk pace.

"Gimme one of those." Matt mumbled, holding a hand out for a flashlight. Josh gave and he followed his girlfriend, shining the light to illuminate the snow covered ground.

Their voices echoed through the trees in ominous ways, drug up last year into high speed. Sam swore she was then again, crying out for Hannah, for Beth, wading through the woods with fear stoking her gut. Except this time it was Chris and the loss of his presence was all the more keenly felt stacked atop the twins, seemed to compound the entire thing and Sam couldn't help but feel breathless under the weight of it.

She glanced over, Josh's voice high and sharp to her left. He was doing well keeping himself together but she could see the stress mounting on him with every cry gone unanswered, every shadow made empty beneath their lights.

If they lost Chris on top of Hannah and Beth, he would break.

Josh would break and he'd never recover.

'Come on, Chris.' Sam pulled her lips tight, shining her light through the trees. 'This isn't the time to try for a prank, you gotta answer us.'

But there was nothing. The minutes ticked by gratingly slow and there was no sign of him, no answer to their calls. There was only boot prints that were disappearing too quickly for them to follow, erased under the relentless fall of snow.

And then they were gone.

"Shit!" Ashley cursed at the front of their small party, crouched to get a closer look at the trail.

"I can't-I can't make anything out"

Matt grimaced sharply, large eyes narrowing to squint through the darkness, slowly turning the beam of his flashlight through the trees.

"Come on, let's keep on going."

As a unit they moved forward, quiet now, straining their ears against the crunch of powder beneath their feet. Wondering how far the blond had managed to get Sam grit her teeth, struggling to keep her head. Anxiety was beating at her chest and tingling down her spine and legs, the sweeps of her light getting more and more erratic and she cursed her friend out in her head, wanting nothing more for him to step out of the dark with his familiar, welcoming smile.

She paused, the sweep of her light seeming to catch a glint to her right.

Brows pressing together, Sam narrowed her eyes against the black.

"Hey, hey guys." Their footsteps halted and she nodded to the trees, a vague trail nestled between them. "I think I saw something down there."

Next to her, Josh wasted no time, quickly picking his way through roots and she followed him quickly. It didn't take long to spot a fallen tree and Sam frowned as they approached it, dread settling in her gut.

"That looks fresh..." Jessica mumbled, peering at the jagged and crisp lines of the stump. Walking slowly forward the woman started as she felt something give beneath her foot, stepped back quickly and looked down.

"Oh my God..." The blond's voice came out in a trembling, heavy breath.

Eyes shooting to the other, Sam watched as Jessica dropped to her knees, fingers brushing away snow and pulling back, tightly clutching a pair of familiar black frames. Jessica stared at them before her eyes slowly lifted to meet theirs, round and terrified.

"No!" Ashley's sobbed loudly, grief spilling from her throat in trembling wails.

"Give me those!"

The world began to rush through her ears and Sam rotated slowly. She could see it now, the odd lines in the snow. Breath coming out in shaky pants, cacophony of voices muffled to a quiet buzz she took it in, the struggle seeming to play over her eyes. When she turned to her feet there was a hint of red, barely peeking through blank white.

"Chris!" Josh's yell was shrill with pain, jerking her back to look at him wide eyed.

The man's eyes were bugged out, his face a milky shade of white that looked strange on his features. In one shaking fist were Chris's glasses, clutched tight and he looked around wildly, panic on every piece of him.

"No! NO!" He whirled around, spinning on his heel. "No, give him BACK! Give him the fuck BACK, GIVE THEM BACK!"

The brunet made to go charging off but was barricaded by Mike's long arms locking tightly around him, pulling him back. Josh bucked, thrashed before collapsing with a gut wrenching moan, falling back into the embrace.

"My fault, it's all my fault, oh God oh no, not Chris too oh God please...!" He sobbed, gripped the forearms locked around him as his knees collapsed beneath him.

Sam stared, ripped her gaze away to take in the others. Emily and Matt looked downright uncomfortable, pale and grimacing, eyes everywhere except the display of unhinged emotion. Ashley appeared steps away from falling apart or flying into a rage against Josh or both, judging by the way she stared at him with murder in her eyes, lips tightly sealed. Jessica leaned over as Mike and Josh slid to the ground, rested her hand on his shoulder and gripped tight.

"So..." Emily began in a tone that, for her, was downright meek. They locked eyes. "What do we do? Should we call the police?"

"I..." Sam's mind was slogging along, for some reason thinking made difficult.

She grasped for something, anything, gaze falling down to the speckle of taunting red between her feet.

"We gotta get back...we gotta call the police or the ranger station."

Just like the last time.

Oh God. Hysteria was bubbling in her lungs, turning her heart rate fast and she clamped her eyes shut.

Deep breaths. She just had to take deep breaths, keep her head on her shoulders, keep her mind clear and on task.

"Yeah, alright, back to the lodge." Emily nodded once and Sam pretended not to notice her hand slipping into Matt's and gripping tight.

Sam peered over at the three on the ground, Josh's thick sobs permeating the cold mountain air. "Josh...Josh?"

She tried not to think of how Chris's blood could be staining the ground underneath her very feet as she walked forward, dropped to a crouch next to them. Jessica was trying to soothe the hysterical brunet but the relief on her face upon her approach made it clear she was painfully out of her depth.

"Josh, I need you to listen to me okay? Listen to my voice, listen to me."

Setting the flashlight on the ground next to her she reached up and took his shoulder in one set, her other hand finding the wetness of his cheek.

"Josh, we need to get help and you're going to come with us alright? So I need you to listen to me. I need you to breathe in deep, count to three and exhale alright?"

The brunet was nearly beyond listening and Sam grit her teeth, begged herself for patience.

"We need to get help for Chris, Josh. We don't have a lot of time so I need you to listen. In, okay? In."

Finally, finally her words seemed to be getting through to him and the man took a shaky breath in, pushed it out through his mouth.

"Good, good." Sam encouraged gently.

In the end it didn't take long for Josh to get his literal and metaphorical feet under him, rising with Mike's help. His breath was still wracked with shivers, eyes crushed with grief but there was determination poking through for which Sam was grateful.

"Alright." Josh muttered, voice a raspy gasp. "I'm good. Let's go."

"Finally." Ashley hissed.

Sam felt horrible.

She kind of agreed.

This time it was Josh who took the lead, his flashlight cutting through the dark in a surprisingly steady swathe. Silence descended on them again, ears straining for threats, for any sign of the gone missing blonde.

It was Jessica who spoke up finally, her voice tiny.

"What will we do if...if we come across who did this?"

Sam glanced back through the corner of her eye, a feeling of 'not who, but what' sinking deep into her gut.

There was no way a person had blasted that tree apart.

"There's six of us, all together." Mike didn't look confident though, all the same. "We'll...we'll figure it out."

"We fucking kill him." She barely heard Josh, the little tidbit of hysteria probably meant for himself alone.

She wasn't too sure that Josh was joking.

"I got..." Again his tongue curled around his lips, a slow swathe that left his mouth shining in the light. "I got a lot of things hooked up, it overloaded the circuits a bit I think so we're gonna have to flip the breakers first to be sure everything is working. And then I-I'm going out to find him."

His eyes locked with hers, intense and shining.

"I don't care what the cops say, I'm finding him."

"Josh..."

"The last time-the last time I just sat and waited. I sat and waited and now they're gone, dead. I'm not-I can't do that again."

Sam watched him in silence, finally nodded.

"Well I'm not letting you go alone. I'm coming with you."

He quirked a smile, a shallow one. She returned it, dropped it, turned ahead.

This wasn't happening again. Together they wouldn't let it.


	2. Chapter 2

Mike really didn't know what to think.

Grimacing against the cold and snow, he kept his attention split between their surroundings and the brunet leading their way through the treacherous mountain passes. Josh seemed genuine in his concern and devastation but there was something about the new driving gleam in his eyes which Mike couldn't help but find suspicious.

It could have easily been the unveiling of the prank he'd been attempting to pull on them, nailing paranoia deeper into his brain, but Mike in the end wasn't sure. He'd figured he'd had a good read on Josh, on all of his friends. He knew the breadth of his intelligence and the capability in seeing through people it had brought him but hell. He was second guessing himself now.

This entire night was going completely against his expectations.

He supposed he'd misjudged Josh. Like Jessica had said earlier, he as well hadn't realized how sick their mutual friend had become. Admittedly Mike wasn't the closest to the smaller, slimmer man. Their friendship was largely superficial even at its inception, and had only become more strained after last year's outcome. It was partly in due to his bruised pride he knew, but now he couldn't help but regard Josh with suspicion.

The other's actions were unpredictable and that meant that he couldn't be trusted. Therefore, he needed to be watched.

Sam was too close to the problem to do it, and while Matt was a good kid he was oblivious to the finer nuances of interaction and relationships. It was almost painful, watching Emily string him along but mostly it was hilarious.

Or it had been. The situation was presently a bit too dire to find humor in it.

Chris. Mike shut his eyes briefly with grief. They had been closer, before last year had happened and the shorter blond had felt the need to focus all his energy on Josh. He'd allowed it, fully aware of how close the two were and Josh's need for a good support system in the wake of his sister's passing, knowing simultaneously that he was a poor candidate given his involvement.

He'd stayed out of it. Right now he very much regretted that decision. Discovering Josh's intentions toward their friends, toward Sam and Chris especially (Ashley as a very unfortunate byproduct, the poor girl.) had ignited the protective flame he generally kept a well buried secret in his gut. It was tempting, to not allow either of the blonds near Josh ever again, but he doubted that would work out well.

The three were much too close to be torn apart so easily. So he'd watch, and he'd wait, and this time he would be there to get them out of the way in the case of future meltdowns.

But there was no point thinking about all of this now. Mike forcibly brought his mind out of the past where it wanted to rot, into the present instead where he needed to be. Ripping his eyes away from where they were burning holes into their leader's back, he glanced around their surroundings instead. His flashlight ambled through the dark of the trees, catching the glitter of snow.

It felt as if it had been years ago, the romantic snowball fight he'd had with Jessica. He wanted her with him, wanted the slim width of her body a solid heat of reality in his arms.

Even the great Michael Munroe needed comfort every once in awhile.

"So...how far away is the sanitorium?"

Mike's eyes flicked to Matt, taking in the uncomfortable pallor of his face. The dark skinned youth was uncomfortable with the silence, apparently. Still it was a good question and Mike looked to Josh, awaiting his answer.

Moss green eyes made black with the darkness glinted back at them and Josh shook his head slowly, a shrug rocking the heavy backpack he wore.

"About an hour's walk I guess? Dunno for sure, it's been ages since me and-" He shook his head, freeing it of thought's of his missing sisters. "...It's been awhile since I made the walk."

"Right…" Matt said slowly, nibbling at his full bottom lip as his eyes twitched downward. "Not gonna be easy getting Chris back, if he's as hurt as we think he is."

Mike grunted, lips pulling taught in displeasure. In their rush they hadn't quite thought of that, had they?

"This is all assuming he's actually nearby the sanitorium though." Sam's voice pierced through the dark, soft and steady. "We don't know that yet. We might still find him on the way there, or on the way back."

"Worse comes to worse, we hunker down with him and we wait," She continued. "We have supplies and we know help is coming...we can afford the time."

'I hope' lingered uncomfortably in the air, unspoken but very apparent in the clenching of slim blond's fist.

"Right." Mike pushed bravado he wasn't sure he felt into his voice, reaching out to slap Matt's shoulder. "One way or another we'll figure things out. It'll be just fine."

Ignoring Matt's grimace of distaste, Mike refocused his attentions on their surroundings. There was a prickle of unease lifting the little hairs on the nape of his neck, one which had been present for some time now but he'd been ignoring.

It really felt…

Reluctant conversation lapsed once more into silence. Mike was admittedly grateful for it as it made listening easier to do.

His senses were sharpening steadily the longer they treked through the woods. At least, he hoped that was all it was but at the same time he'd never been one to ignore his instincts. Resting his hand on the holster on his hip, he undid the clip.

Just in case, he thought.

"Do you guys feel that?" Sam whispered after a moment.

To his left, Matt nodded and Josh grunted quietly, his stance uncertain.

"Like something's watching us." Mike breathed softly, keeping his voice pitched low. Sam nodded sharply.

"I thought, when I was walking up from the road, but…" Her voice trailed off.

They halted as one, feet sinking gradually into the snow laden path. Slipping the gun fully out of the holster, Mike turned his attention outward as he shone his light along the sight. The prickle had graduated to full on goosebumps now, as though something was grazing its nails just along the edges of his senses.

And then he heard it, finally able to make out the source of his unease.

Growling, low and predatory. A spike of awareness lanced through his spine and he shifted his weight. The four of them drew steadily closer as the noise grew louder, putting their backs to each other and one by one lifting their weapons.

He could see it now, the sickly yellow shimmer of approaching eyes and sharp white teeth. A wolf, gradually nearing and Mike grit his teeth, daring a glance backward. There was a second behind him, steadily approaching from their other side.

"Shit." Mike heard Josh mutter.

That was an adequate descriptor for their situation alright.

A sharp whistle cut through the tension and Mike just about jumped, dug his feet deeper into the snow instead and whipped around to aim his glock straight for the source. A man stepped out of the shadows, his boots stepping so heavy on the ground that it seemed a miracle they hadn't heard him until now. Goggles and a bandana covered his face, straps and a contraption on his back barely visible against the creases and stains of his long dark coat.

"Who the fuck-" Matt began to exclaim, the sight of his pistol wavering with his shaking hands and the stranger lifted a hand to request silence, the other tugging down the bandana before sliding up the goggles.

They were met with the grim grizzled face of a man who Mike estimated to be in his fifties. His face was doughy, soft and pallid, a thick swathe of stubble across his face and one eye made useless by a ropey scar bisecting it twice over. Were it not for his twisted mouth and dour eyes, Mike would have taken him for a man more prone to smiling and humor.

"The fuck are you?" Mike grit through his teeth, watching in surprise as the wolves trotted toward the man like well trained dogs.

Reaching down to scratch one of the wolves behind an ear, the man looked at them with a wry smirk.

"I'm the one who's been protecting you goddamn kids every time you idiots gaggle onto my mountain."

"Oh God, it's this freakshow…" Josh murmured.

"You know this guy?" Sam asked, lowering her weapon. Mike didn't bother, keeping his muzzle aimed firmly toward the stranger.

"Yeah, his name is Jack Fiddler, he's been giving my family grief for years-"

"You're goddamn right I have, you're fools for coming up here."

Josh opened his mouth to speak but was cut off with a sharp gesture. "Shut it, boy. You, all of you, are going to listen to me. I don't know what the hell you lot are doing out here…" His eyes trailed over their weapons and he smirked. "Though I can guess. It doesn't matter though, you're going back to your cabin where it's safe."

"What-"

"On the way I'm gonna explain you kids a couple of things." He turned, making his way back the way they'd come. "

Mike grunted as Josh jostled past him, glancing down to find the smaller man glaring death at the stranger.

"We're not going with you." Josh hissed with venom in his voice. "My best friend is out there somewhere and I'm gonna rescue him! We are not going anywhere with you!"

"Your friend is dead by now." A milky white eye peered sightlessly back at them. "There's no way he can survive with what's out there."

"You don't know that." Sam grasped Josh's arm, tugging him back. "And if you really gave a damn about protecting us like you said you were doing, you'd help us find him and get him back safe."

Shifting to regard them properly, the grizzled hermit eyeballed them for a good long moment before snorting humorlessly and striding forward. Mike wordlessly followed his movements with the gun but Fiddler merely pushed it to the side.

"Put down your gun boy. Fine, I'll help but you are going to do every damn thing I say, you kids got it? Otherwise we're all dying out here."

The rasped words sent a chill up his spine. Glancing at the other's, Mike lowered the pistol before reholstering it, the action mirrored by Matt and Josh and ambled after. The wolves followed in their footsteps, paws brushing noiselessly through the snow.

The screaming is made by monsters.

Pressing his back against a damp wall, Chris wheezed softly, wanting only a second to catch his breath.

"I can't believe this…" Whispering softly to himself and wincing, the blond let his head tap gently back against the wall as he glanced slowly about himself. "Fucking...monsters. Dude."

He wondered absently if Josh had known about them, the skeletal but scary strong beings who's flesh looked like grey parchment, who's yellow milky eyes and teeth bulged out of their skulls. Chris had wondered at first if they were some sort of props for one of Mr. Washington's movies.

He'd discarded that thought when they started chasing him.

It'd taken a lot of ducking, a lot of hiding, a lot of thinking on his feet to avoid getting skewered like a pig on their meat hook claws. He wasn't going to lie, he was kind of impressed by himself.

It was hard not to giggle obscenely. Chris supposed he might be losing it just a bit, his hazy eyesight gradually tracking one of the screaming mutants as it ambled about in the distance, nearing his location slowly. The blond swallowed, forcing the ball of fear down his paper dry throat, and closed his eyes for only a moment.

It had taken some experimentation but apparently there were some Jurassic Park rules at play here. They, whatever they were, could only see motion.

Neither their hearing or their sense of smell was very magnificent but their prey drive upon sighting movement was breathtakingly terrifying.

When he'd initially happened upon them they'd been caged, like someone knew about them and was keeping them contained. But then they'd seen him move and the thick metal bars blocking their way had stood very little chance.

And now they were loose.

Opening his eyes and squinting through the blur to sight the mutated thing, Chris blew out a sore, slow breath. It was too far away to tell which way it was looking…

He'd just have to risk it. Steeling his nerves he shifted slowly, as slow as he could manage to the right and then paused again, straining his ears and eyes in an attempt to ascertain if it had _seen_ him.

Nothing.

As fast as a sloth he inched his way onward, good arm stretching out to clutch and feel at the damp mossy bricks. Josh's phone had been an unfortunate casualty three minutes into the chase, leaving him with only his impressively poor vision to navigate by.

In short, shit sucked but strangely he hadn't broken down into a whimpering ball yet.

Strangely, his focus was sharper than he could ever imagine it being.

Strangely, he felt more alive than he had since Beth and Hannah had disappeared into the night this day last year.

So very, very strange.

The blond glanced to his left, grimacingly staring into the dark. His scenery, at least, had changed some time ago from damp earthy tunnels to endless brick hallways. If he had to make a guess, he'd wager he was somewhere in the bowels of the sanitorium, a building the Washington parents had warned them repeatedly against exploring.

They'd rarely listened of course but that had been so long ago, and everything looked so much different during the day. He couldn't be sure he'd even been in this area before.

If Chris listened very hard he could almost hear their childish giggles of years passed, echoing through the dizzying maze.

Another moment to recover was all it took to catch their attention again though.

But God they were fast. Clutching his damaged arm against his pained ribs, Chris bit back whimpers as he booked it mindlessly through the tunnels. His head was pounding and his feet were unsteady but he was not going to be killed by these _freaks_.

He was going to get out of here alive, damn it all.

The sound of their claws tearing brick after him, their screaming was endless and maddening. It ripped at the fog in his brain, driving him again into terror until he was gasping, no brain power left to spare.

Claws cracked at the back of his jacket, tearing through the fabric and drawing blood. They gripped, pulled and Chris wrestled free from his outermost layer with a groan. He felt the slash of air above his head, rolled to avoid a gnashing pair of teeth and careened through a gated doorway.

No time to close it, he had to put distance between them. The blond didn't even bother looking over his shoulder as his sneakers slid across the moist floor, turning a corner with a frantic yelp. He almost slid to his knees, pushed off his fingertips to bound clumsily forward.

The hallway ahead was caved in. Chris felt his heartbeat halt for a nauseating second, breath catching in his aching chest when he saw it.

A gap, he swore, one just big enough for him to slip through. With the monsters seconds behind him the teen didn't hesitate and dropped to land on his hip, sliding through the hole for a moment's reprieve.

He could hear them smacking against the debris, huge bone shuddering thuds that made him wince. The stone rattled, small pieces shaking free but Chris found abruptly that he couldn't bring himself to move. He watched, dazed as an arm scrabbled through the opening before retreating, leaving him in the silence of his own wheezing.

For a second, just a second, Chris let his eyes drift shut. Everything was heaving and hurting and it was so hard to breathe; His chest was on fire and his legs felt about as useful as logs.

He was so, so tired. If only he could rest for just a moment…

But that was the last thing he should do. Opening his eyes to peer dazedly at the blurred vista of dark, Chris blinked slowly once, twice. He counted to ten and then begrudgingly started to peel his body off the floor, limbs at once stiff and watery. Swaying as he stood and whining softly to himself as the ache in his head restated itself, the blond took a moment to gather his bearings before making a shivery step forward.

Everyone...they were out there waiting for him, they might even be looking for him. He had to keep on going.

Tapping into reserves he never would have guessed at, Chris shambled forth. Rounding one corner, another corner, too many turns to count until he began wondering if this really was the end, if he was dead ass lost and fucked for it when finally he began to remember.

His feet pulled him along automatically, tripping absently across garbage and clutter. Sometimes he stopped so he could push back his breathing, straining his ears to listen for their howls and scuttering. Sometimes he stopped because his legs would begin to numb and he wasn't too sure if they were going to keep him upright.

'I guess the adrenaline is gone…' Chris thought, fingers guiding him against the wall.

"That was...kinda badass though." His voice came out in a whispy breath but he still managed to quirk a faintly smug grin, ignoring the painful pull at the deep gouges that littered his face. "Yeah...I'm a bad…"

The blond wavered and sank, catching himself against the wall for a second before continuing. Ahead were stairs. He was certain he remembered those stairs and indeed the moment he turned the corner to ascend them he felt it.

A cold, cold breeze that pierced him through to the very bone, rapidly reducing his wounds to numb nothings. Chris couldn't help but smile wider, the whites of his teeth glinting in the snow scattered moonlight.

"Fuck yeah."

It wasn't exactly the home stretch, but it was an accomplishment all the same and he didn't think anything could ever sound better than the snow as it crunched beneath his boots.


End file.
